Proactive investors

The Country’s on flood alert; the weather bimbos are worried that tears shed for the 4000 estate agents that could be forced to close are likely to turn into torrents, threatening major flood damage in many areas. This, on top of news that buy-to-let landlords may need to stump up more cash to cover falling prices, is too much to bear.

There was an interesting piece in the papers, linking traders’ profits to hormones. The study found higher levels of testosterone in males who’d made above average profits, which could be why I found Chimpy humping next door’s cat after scoring a winning trade. Now, I’ve still got a book, The Testosterone Advantage Plan, from my rugby days; perhaps I should re-read that rather than Forex Patterns & Probabilities. Incidentally, the same survey found that once a month female traders smashed their trading screen, because they damn well felt like it.

Thankfully the Chimp had a better week, making a much-needed 300-pip profit. On the Forex Snakes & Ladders board this sent him back up to –1700 pips. One good trade, and a couple of scrappy ones, helped me to a 585-pip profit. This took me above the 4000 mark to 4126 pips. 

Monday 14^th April. I didn’t start the week in the best of moods; I sacrificed my early gym session so as to be at my desk at bang on 9 o’clock. Important data, company results, placing a trade? Nope, something far more important; that’s when the ticket hotline opens for tickets for Bath’s home games. Usually, dialling at bang on the open produces 10 minutes of Greensleeves and some leftover tickets. But today, after 6 failed calls, I eventually bought my tickets at around 11 o’clock. But the bit that really got me was having to listen to a message detailing all the forthcoming matches before a woman said something like, “Sorry, we’re all really busy, you are the weakest link. Goodbye.” There was no option to hear more Greensleeves and remain in the queue, just the sound of the phone going dead!

 After the distracting, but ultimately successful, task of securing tickets I set about trying to pay for them. I’d missed the ‘anti-G7’ Dollar sell-off during the morning, but caught an overbought Cable rate, following slightly stronger retail sales numbers from the US. I sold £10 at $1.9858, setting a wide stop above the day’s high at $1.9905. For over an hour it looked like I’d made a mistake; there was little movement, and what there was went higher rather than lower. Eventually, support gave way allowing me to take a profit on half my holding. I bought back £5 at $1.9848, then a further £1 at ’37. The glass was now looking half-full until a spiteful rally went just far enough to take me out at ’57, before falling properly to test the $1.98 level. I considered re-opening the trade but at 5 o’clock I decided to call an end to my trading day.

Messing up a small long in Friends Prov compounded a tough day. I’d bought a scrap ages ago when it reacted badly to results, but had made a diary note for today to sell ahead of the XD on Wednesday. The price was 131p when I read my diary note, but it didn’t seem that urgent. I was busy on an article when I noticed a lot of activity in the price, and it was all one way. A quick click on the news channel revealed JC Flowers, upping the ante, not the price. I managed to bail out at 125.3p for a small profit, but didn’t have the presence of mind to double the sale and go short of the stock.

Tuesday 15^th April. Wu hoo! The blind man came today, and not a day too soon. I love working in such a sunny room, but I do feel a need to watch my screens at times. I traded twice today, in the same currency, in the same direction. On both occasions I sold Euro$, and both times I managed to lock in partial profits before being stopped out at break even.

Equities were far too perky for my liking. I’d started to relax, thinking that my FTSE 6050 Calls were safe, but the extent of the daily moves are enough to keep me on my toes. I’m assuming the rallies are driven more by excessive cash levels, and perhaps even sovereign wealth funds, than by a genuine bullish outlook. But it’s making options trading pretty damn tough at the moment. I’m looking forward to a top night tonight, and it doesn’t even involve Mrs F-T. There’s Bath v Leicester on Sky, followed by the last episode of Shameless, which has now been eclipsed by the Shannon Matthews family. I can’t wait. 

Wednesday 16^th April. It’s weird; my grin should be the size of the crack in Johnny Vegas’s arse after Bath’s emphatic win last night. Instead, there’s a feeling of loss. Bath were just so dominant that, after being three tries up at half-time, they really should have secured the bonus point with a fourth try. Fair play to Leicester, they played the better rugby in the second half, but for Bath that could be a costly point that got away.

Today featured my trade of the week, at least in terms of my finances. I bought Euro$ after Higher than expected Eurozone inflation gave the currency a push through $1.5850 resistance. I was a bit slow in, buying £10 at $1.5875, but at least I was onboard. I still prefer to lock in some early gains, so I sold half my size at ’85. Again, it seemed prudent to lock in some gains as the currency hit record highs approaching the $1.59 big figure. I sold £1s at $1.5891 and ’96, bringing my stop up to break even. Having secured some beer money I relaxed and left the market to its own devises. Later on I took further profits at $1.5939 and ’50 before my trailing stop was hit at $1.5925. My profit on the trade was 276 pips, better than a night in the cells with Pete Doherty.

Thursday 17^th April. I’m afraid I cracked under the strain; I closed my 6050 FTSE Calls early, for a reduced profit. Consultant Harry Hindsight has since pointed out that if I’d kept my bottle I’d have been OK, just! No, given that I’ve been wrong, and obviously out of touch with the mood in equity markets, it seemed sensible to close down the risk. I left my 6150 Calls, and those above, to run their course. The trouble is, I’ve done nothing for May expiry. There’s little to compensate for the risk of the equities pushing higher, and I definitely don’t fancy writing Puts at these levels. On the positive side, my tickets for Bath v Saracens arrived today.

Well, well. So a female lawyer, named in the UK’s top 100 lawyers list, is claiming £19 million in the latest sex discrimination farce. Now, she’s 51, on a salary of £140,000 and claiming for lost earnings and psychiatric damage. Putting aside the absurdity of a lawyer claiming that anyone could hurt their feelings, the claim suggests a reward of around £2 million a year until retirement at 60, slightly higher than the £140,000 she’s on. Also, how many successful people in the City work until normal retirement age? Still, she’s part of the Vulture Club, I’m sure the award will go her way.

There really ought to be a Dummies Guide For Thieves; another report from Germany, a hotbed of stupid thieves, tells of the burglar who stole a collection of rare coins. He took them to the bank for safe-keeping (you can’t take any chances with the number of thieves around) where the coins were recognised by one of the bank assistants who they’d been stolen from.

The second ‘dumb thief’ story comes from Wales. It’s the old classic of a well-barbequed body being found stripping a live copper wire. There should have been a hint of the danger; he was stealing from an electricity station!